Cloud 9

Have you been on cloud 9 recently?

It's nice up here.

Where the smile is permanently on your face,

and the butterflies strong in your stomach.

You should come visit.

Walk The Line

Some good tunes while you read.

(if you like what you hear-

I would definitely check out the whole album.

Some Nights by Fun.

You won't regret it.

It's been on repeat.

For days.)

My life weirds me out.

One day I am as happy as I could be.

Then it sucks.

Then it's great, for days.

Right now, I am walking the line.

In the next few weeks,

my life will either be perfect,

or it will go downhill.

Fast.

On Saturday, Me and Julie

(my roommate/best friend)

decided that it is no longer worth living up in Logan.

With all the problems we have had with roommates,

and how be both hate our jobs,

it is just no longer worth it.

We found out that our landlord

(bless her heart)

will let us sell our lease

FOR FREE

because we have been through hell.

So we are trying to sell our lease,

and looking for apartments in Orem

to be closer to family and friends,

and so we can both start school in the fall.

If all goes right, we will be out by April.

This is a good thing.

Yesterday, I found out that the studio where I work is closing.

March 23rd.

(also the day The Hunger Games comes out!)

This just happens to be around when I would quit.

Kinda perfect.

But so stupid.

I still have a headache from how stupid yesterday was.

On one side of the line:

We sell our apartment,

we find an apartment in Orem

(with good rent)

I find a job in Orem,

and live close to everyone.

On the other side of the line:

We can't sell our apartment,

so we are stuck until August.

I don't have a job anymore,

and I still live 2 hours away from everyone.

It's like the best,

and the worst possibilities.

I am literally walking the line.

It is driving me crazy.

I need a nap.

It Gets Better

Warning:

I'm gonna get all churchy on you.

I don't know what you believe,

but if you don't believe in what I do,

and don't want to hear about it,

I would suggest you stop now.

(I love that I'm talking like someone is actually reading this. HA)

Hi, I'm McKenna

and I'm LDS.

I am not perfect,

and I don't pretend to be.

I'm not the kind of member that will shove my religion down your throat,

nor does it matter to me what religion you are.

If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you.

Since I moved out it has gotten really hard for me to go to church.

Not because I don't want to go.

I have to work on Sunday's a lot.

Because of this, I just wasn't feeling... like me?

It's hard to explain,

but it was like I wasn't as in tune with the spirit.

Frankly, I was unhappy.

I had to make some big decisions in December,

and the only way I could think to get through it

was to pray.

So pray I did.

For three days I prayed.

For hours.

I just needed answers.

I needed to be happy.

I got to go home for a week for Christmas

and the first night I got there

I was still confused.

So I asked my dad for a blessing.

And let me tell you,

if I had any doubts about if God knew who I was,

they disappeared the second he laid his hands on my head.

It was like everything in the room fell away,

and He told me exactly what to do.

And He gave me the strength to do it.

I would have never been able to do it without the reassurance that it was what was supposed to happen.

I can finally say I am truly happy.

Ever since then,

I have been way more in tune with the spirit.

It is an amazing thing to get the overwhelming feeling of the spirit,

and just know what to do.

And that everything will be okay.

I am beyond grateful for my parents

for raising me the way they did.

It hasn't always been easy for me,

but who knows where I would be now if it wasn't for them.

I am sooo grateful for my dad

and his ability to hold the priesthood.

I am one lucky girl.

2012

Whoa, been awhile.

I'm back!

It's a new year.

Time to get back into blogging.

So many things have changed.

The end of last year wasn't very nice to me,

as you could probably tell by my blog posts.

But 2012 is being very good to me.

I had to make some big changes.

None of them were easy,

actually, they were all very hard.

But they have all turned out to be just what I needed.

I still have my same crappy job,

but I have changed my attitude about it.

And I'm looking for a new one as we speak:)

We got a new roommate,

to replace our mean, quite one.

Her name is Amber,

and she is fantastic.

Sadly, we only had her for a month.

She moved out on Monday to get closer to campus.

Dumb.

This boy:

This is Josh.

He was my valentine:)

We have been friends for over a year now,

and he has always been there.

It's nice to be able to hang out with someone with out having to worry.

Just to joke around, have fun, and be young.

Nothing serious.

He gets me, and doesn't judge me (well, not always ha!)

He's also the biggest sweetheart:

I met Mitchell Davis!

#14 on my bucket list.

No one ever thought I would meet him.

But I did.

Sometimes my life surprises everyone.

January 31, 2012 will forever be a day to remember.

One of the best yet.

I have never been good with change.

But sometimes you have to start doing what is best for you.

I'm finally starting to be happy with me.

Being truly happy is well worth the change,

no matter how hard it was.

Another thing to look forward to in 2012:

March 23rd.

The Hunger Games<3

Gonna be so good:)

Homesick

There are only a few time's in my life that I have been homesick.

Not the kind of homesick where you would just rather be home then where you are.

But the kind of homesick that literally makes you sick.

The kind that makes everything remind you of home,

and makes you cry over the sound of your mom's voice.

This is the kind of homesick I have been this week.

I don't know what happened in my life,

or what flipped the switch,

but one morning I woke up and I just missed home.

I missed everything about it.

I missed my family and friends.

I missed my puppy.

I missed my job.

I missed knowing that I had a handful of different people I could hang out with if I wanted.

I missed everything about home so much that I was literally sick.

And it was kneeling on the bathroom floor of Wal Mart that I realized;

What am I doing here?

I hate my job.

I have no friends.

I'm not even going to school.

Why am I here?

And the answer is:

I don't know.

I still don't know.

And I don't know when I will know.

But I know that I moved up here for a reason.

Maybe it was just to get a change of scenery,

or maybe to just grow up and figure out who I am.

Maybe I'll meet someone that I am supposed to meet,

or maybe it's just so I know what matters most to me.

I don't know yet, but hopefully I'll figure it out soon.

It sucks to realize that you left everything you love for nothing.

I don't think words quite describe how much I hate my job.

Yes, I get to take pictures and blah blah blah.

Whatever.

I hate it.

This is not the kind of photography that I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

This isn't the kind that gets me excited to do a photo shoot,

that I want to stay up all night editing the pictures from.

I want to be the kind of photographer that people want to pay a lot of money to have,

not just because they can't afford anything else.

I want to be the kind of photographer who's pictures make it onto the covers of magazines

(vogue to be exact)

The kind of photographer that people want to be like,

that people look up to.

I want to do photo shoots that make people think,

that shows how I think and view the world.

Not a 15 minute photo shoot so a mom can get a free 8x10 and be on her way.

I just miss the way life used to be.

I can't wait to go home tomorrow.

Halloween for the roommates?

Probably.

Reminds me of The Notebook.

So romantic.

Story of my life.

I need this.

I have this problem.

If/when I have long hair

I will do this.

The Face

This video will come into play later in this post.

So watch it:)

(Warning: Inappropriate content and language.)

(Sorry about that)

(It's just so funny)

I don't like to dance.

I'm not good at it

and I don't like other people knowing exactly how horrible I am.

So I usually just don't dance.

Ever.

Except in the car

or in my bathroom.

But I never dance at dances.

But something came over me at 80's night,

and I just didn't care what other people thought.

Granted half of them were drunk,

or a worse dancer then I am,

but I just didn't care.

So I danced.

As we we're dancing,

just having a good time,

Julie made a joke about how many times we would have to use "The Face".

(refer to video above)

I thought nothing of it until

the drunkest douche bag of all drunk douche bags started grinding on me.

Uhh, hello?

I don't know you,

and I don't even let the people I'm closest with do this.

I don't like being touched,

please leave me alone.

Luckily I didn't have to whip The Face out for the kill,

but I was this close to punching him in the face.

It's not an easy thing to walk away when you are in a crowd of dancing drunk people.

So I had to turn around and practically push him off of me.

It took a minute for him to get the point,

as it always does,

but he finally left me alone.

Plus, he said sorry.

So that makes it a little better.

But I still took an extra long shower when I got home.

Some people are just so talented.

The person who did these being one of them.

The Hunger Games series<3

Cute his and her's tattoos.

One day I will have that many books.

I will also have those stairs:)

Need.

Trees:)

It Must be Something In The Air

The zoo,

80's dance,

The Rocket Summer concert,

busy busy busy.

Yes, my week was amazing.

How was yours?

People in Logan are either overly nice

or a memo went out to compliment me.

Because I don't think I have ever been complimented by so many random people in my life.

And that is just this week.

Must be something in the air up here?

Or water maybe?

Either way, I am not okay with it.

If you don't know,

I hate being complimented.

I don't like being looked at,

and if someone compliments you, that means they have been looking at you long enough to notice they like your hair,

or what you're wearing.

I get all embarrassed,

turn red,

and laugh.

It is really a terrible thing.

I probably should have done a blog for each one of these fun things I did,

but I am wayy too lazy.

So here we have three blogs worth of pictures in one,

enjoy:)

The Rocket Summer concert.

Before the douche bag almost broke my camera.

Getting ready for the concert

We are horrible at jumping pictures.

80's night faux-hawk:)

The best picture of Aaron ever taken,

you're welcome:)

See that behind us?

That is what we call McKenna's photography heaven.

Me and Scotty at the zoo

The sisters:)

The sib's